Saturday, August 29, 2009

Ok now for the rest of the story........

My son was shipped out to live with his bio father on the 9th of August as you all know, well that was not the end of the story for that week but the beginning. On the 10th I decided to take my 15 yr old daughter for a pregnancy test because she had missed her period and has been dating the same guy for a year now so I decided that she needed to get checked even though we had put her on the birth control shot a few weeks earlier which at the time they did a test and it came back negative but the nurse told us at that time that there was still a chance she could be pregnant and it was just too soon to read on their tests, oh no my daughter was sure she was not and so we went ahead and gave her the shot. Anyway, back to the 10th, my daughter kept reminding me of the previous test and how the nurse had told us that one of the side effects of the shot is to not have a period at all, and that it was not possible for her to be pregnant being on the shot and yada yada, well you know that motherly instinct you get, I had it, and boy was I right. She is pregnant will be 8 weeks on Moday. The test came back very positive and I thought she was going to faint when the nurse gave us the results. Apparently she was only about a week pregnant when she got the shot and that is why is showed up negative. OMG! I AM GONNA BE A GRANDMA! Yep I could have died right there. But I didn't and live has gone on and we are now preparing for a baby. The daddy is wanting to marry her and they are very much in love and yada yada. IDK which way to go. Do I let them marry and take care of this situation on their own, or do I raise another kid, which I had no plans of doing, my youngest just started kindergarten and I finally have my house to my self.
WOW! I am over the shock and after having a huge scare with her a few weeks ago and having to rush her to the doc for cramping and bleeding and getting to see the baby and the little heart beating inside her I have decided that I love her and I love what is happening inside her, I dont like it a bit but I love her and I know we will make it through this, I watched her cry with relief and amazement as the doctor showed us her baby and showed us the heart beating and gave us her due date and that melted my heart in more ways than one.

Please pray for us during this challenging time. So much has been going on with us that I dont know what is up or what is down anymore. All I know is that this is a season that we are going through and though we are being tested I know we will make it threw and will be stronger in the end. My heart is broken in so many pieces because of my sister, my son and now my daughter but I love them all and I will be supportive and caring and understanding as much as I can, I will never stop loving my children although my heart may ache because of them or their actions. I know a new life in this family would be quite a change after all the death we have had in the last few years. So with that please pray for my lil girl, her baby and her baby's daddy that God would join them in the way he sees fit, that all would go well with her pregnancy and delivery. Please pray for strength and understaning for her because she is so young her youth is now gone and she has had to become a women too soon.
Oh yeah and her due date is April 12,2010 and she has decided she is having a girl. lol..........

Sunday, August 23, 2009

Update on my sister n stuff....

Hi everyone I know it has been a long time since my last blog but life has been craszy here, as usual......

My sister is doing well, better then we thought she would be especially since not even the docs thought she would live long upon her arrival at the hospital. She was very ill and her life was litteraly hanging by a thread, but with lots a prayer and tons on faith and a strongwill to live she is doing better and was sent home a few days ago. She is still doing her dialysis every other day and taking chemo and radiation but has gained some color back is now able to walk a little on her own and is home resting in her own surroundings. She still has a long way to go and recovery may never come totally but for now we are all just happy to see her smiling and laughing. She has been through so much and has bounced back twice from her death bed with all her doctors amazed at her strong will and determination to live.
Thank you all for your prayers and kind words.

Now onto my son. He is still with his father and has adjusted well as far as I know. I have missed him and my heart is still broken from all the pain he has caused our family. I speak to him every now and then but it always seems to end in a fight so for now I think it is best for us to have no communication between each other for awhile. Sounds crazy and hurtful and it is but my heart cannot take the person he has become and the disrepect he always seems to deal me so, I think distance and time and lots of mature growth on his side is the only way our relationship is ever going to mend. It is so painful to lose a child to rebellion and to know that no matter what you say or do you are always the bad guy. He is very ugly and mouthy, which he has been for years, but seems like it has gotten worse since he has left, my hubby says it is because he is not face to face with me so he thinks he can run his mouth all he wants and get away with it because I am further then arm reach of him so I can not reach over and knock him into next week for using foul language or copping an attitude. Makes me so angry, so hurt, so ashamed and confused. He seems to care only for himself and what makes his world go around. He has always been a very selfish child and the older he gets the worse it gets. I talked to him briefly tonight to let him know that I found out that he stole all of my mama's (God rest her soul) rings, even her and my daddys wedding rings. He just got ugly with me and denied it. He also stole my hubby's college grad ring which he has had for over 20 years. And he stole my hubby's aka rifle and his 9 mm stainless steel pistol, which was the reason he was sent away. When he was confronted with all of this he just got angry and violent. He has stole from us all his life but this was the last straw. Now that he is gone and we are having time to go through our things we are finding more and more stuff missing mostly jewlery, a diamond tennis braclet, diamond cross necklace, a sterling silver necklace, the list goes on and on. Before he left we noticed that he always had money to spend and were finding cigeret butts and empty pkgs out on our land ofcourse he denied it all and we were so sick of fighting that we would just clean them up, talk with him or ground him and move on. We found out about the guns being gone when some kids told my daughter that her brother had given them a couple of guns of their dads, sure enough she came home and told us and the guns were missing. My hubby went straight to the police and filed a report with my daughter and son their to tell their story about the missing guns. Unfortunitly my dd does not know the guys that told her they only knew her as James sister. He denied the whole thing and basically without the serial numbers the cops can do nothing. My dear husband has had these guns for years and years so we have been searching like crazy trying to find the paper work on them. Ugh........ my hubby found out that one of the guns is worth $4000 alone now and the other prob more and I think my son traded them for a few packs of smokes because they had no value to him execpt for what he wanted out of it.
Sorry for the rambling just needing to vent I guess. Anyway, please pray that God will guide him in his life and that some day he will change and repent for what he has done and actually be remorseful about it. We love him deeply but have chosen to remove him from our home which as a parent you should never have to do. If you cant trust your own family the child you bore and raised and loved then who can you trust?

I have tons of other news to share but I will give your ears a rest and save the rest for another blog.

Thank you all again for your kind words and prayers, keep praying we need all we can get.
Hugs, Kathy

Sunday, August 9, 2009

Sister Update and more news

First of all I would like to say thank you to everyone that has been praying for my sister and her family.
Thursday we got news that my sisters cancer had caused her to get plasma cell Leukimia which is caused by the Muliple Meloma and the prognosis was not good. Later that eve my neice called and said my sister was asking that all of us come up there so she could talk with each of us. So off I went on a 2 hour drive at around 7:30 that night. When I arrived at the hospital they had moved her to the stem cell unit which is a quarintined unit. I was very amazed at how well she looked compared to the last time I had seen her which was only last weekend. She looked good. They had started her on dialysis for her kidney failure and was going to start chemo the following day. Everyone arrived there one after the other and when we were all settled my sister began talking to us about the possibility of her dieing which immediatly brought all of us to tears. She went on to say that she was not scared that she was at peace and ready to go home if that was God's will. She told each of us that she loved us and shared some stuff that she need to say to some of us individually. The whole thing was very heartbreaking but very serene. After she said all she needed she ask if she could pray over us and did so with such boldness and peacefulness. It was very beautiful.
The next day the chemo was started and blood work was taken before and after. That eve the doctor let us know that the cancer was responding to the chemo, her numbers before starting was 14000 and after chemo was down to 1000, not sure the term of the numbers he used but I do know it was related to her cancer cells so we were all very happy to hear that.
I stayed all weekend and during that time she went over her funeral wishes, her wishes for certain personal belongings to go to certain people, she discussed the music she wanted played at her funeral and what clothes she would like to be laid to rest in. This was a very difficult time for each of us and more so for her daughters but we all listened and took notes of her wishes. We cried and laughed and cried some more all weekend but, I can say that I left that hospital with peace in my heart and much respect for my sister. She is truely a strong lady. We are not sure if or for how long her cancer will hold out but I do know that the doc said this cancer was a rapid spreading cancer and it was everywhere already along with her other cancer but he also is very hopeful that her body will fight this and she will be a living miracle of God's mercy. Please continue to pray for all of us and for my sister to continue to be so strong and brave.

Other news. My 16 yo son has gone to live with his bio father. He has been very rebelious for several years now and has pretty much put our family through living hell. We love him with all our hearts and have forgivin him for all the hurt he has caused but felt that we needed to remove him from our home so we could heal and so hopefully he can mature while we are apart. This was one of the hardest decisions I have ever made as a mother but I had to set my feelings aside and do what was best for everyone in our home. He left today on a greyhound bus heading to Albuquerque NM. Please keep him in your prayers, this is a huge change for all of us including his father whom is single and has been kid free for 7 years. Please pray for peace in our home and for healing of our hearts, please pray for direction in my sons life and that God changes his heart and grows him in his love and guidence. Please pray for me as a mama who has had to lift her wing and free her child because letting go is so hard, I am filled with fear and worry but praying through it and standing on faith that all will end well and this will pass and someday we will look back and be thankful for the decision we made.

I love you all and think of you as my dear friends your prayers and encouragment means so much to me I need it now more than you will know. My heart is broken and my tears are at a constant stream but I know with your prayers and friendship I will make it through this valley and be standing on a mountain once again.